Welcome to the Final Frontier
by stellapond
Summary: Welcome to Night Vale/Star Trek Crossover. Cecil Gershwin Palmer is the Captain of the USS Enterprise. With his brilliant, perfect, science officer, Carlos, their crew can take on anything in the universe as they venture further into the unknown. A dab of Cecil/Carlos.


Hi everyone! Alright, this is my first crossover, as well as my first attempt at a rather different format. I was trying to mix a captain's log with the 'only Cecil talking' format of Welcome to Night Vale. So when you're reading this just imagine that Cecil is very insistent on accurate captain's logs, so he records it continuously and narrates every mission, but he has a perfect voice so no one minds. Also I don't own Star Trek or Welcome to Night Vale, in case you were wondering. (P.S.: I intentionally made Cecil use his first name instead of last like captain's normally do, I dunno, it felt right, don't judge me.)

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Captain's Log, Stardate 43125.9. This is Captain Cecil Gershwin Palmer, on the debut mission of the USS _Enterprise_. Communications officer Lieutenant Dana has alerted me that we are no longer receiving transmissions from Starfleet**.**

We began to experience technical difficulties as we entered the Theta Quadrant. Sensor readings are showing heat signatures that should have destroyed our ship by now, so their accuracy is doubtful. Science Officer Carlos told me, in his rich, deep voice, so clear and concise, that we'll have to get closer to get a more precise reading.

Ah, Carlos. Carlos, with his big, brown, clever eyes and his perfect dark, curly hair that I could just run my hands through and… ahem, yes anyway. Iam _so_ glad that Carlos was promoted to chief science officer. I had a few classes at Starfleet Academy with him, and he is _so_ smart—like, he got perfect scores in all of his classes, but I never could get up the nerve to say anything other than hello. Sigh… Perfect Carlos… but yes his um intellect, is highly appreciated aboard the _Enterprise._

The area that all of our strange readings are originating from is behind a large Class D planet, which we are about to go around, albeit hesitantly. It appears to be a large mass of… What's that? Ohh… okay. Okay. Neat. Carlos says that we've come upon an extremely strong energy field, which is why all of our systems have been malfunctioning. To me it kind of looks like a massive glowing cloud, but obviously Carlos knows what he's doing.

No, god, Carlsburg, of course we shouldn't arm phasers, it's a _cloud_. Do you even listen, honestly. I don't know why he's even on the bridge, I'm not sure if he even went to the Academy to tell you the truth.

The cloud has a luminous quality, and it seems almost iridescent, shimmering in a multitude of colors. It's precise shade is unidentifiable. Do you ever get that feeling that there has to be at least one color that no one has ever thought of or seen, and it's right on the tip of your tongue, but you can't think of it? That's what color the glow cloud is. Oh right, thank you Carlos, sorry, the energy field.

The cloud seems to be expanding. Long tendrils are slithering towards our ship and across the cosmos, swallowing up the light the stars shed, leaving behind a vast infinity of darkness, and opening up the deep black void**, **which will inevitably swallow us all, our lives flickering out of existence like small candles doused in the cold, eternal presence of death.

I suppose we should be fearful. Our systems are compromised, and for some reason we no longer have warp capability, but instead I feel a strange sense of serenity. A calm silence is sighing through the bridge and everyone looks as though they are feeling a deep inner peace pass through their minds and bodies.

_All hail the glow cloud_.

What? Is it me or did the entire crew just say that in unison? Wait… what was I talking about? Everything has gone rather fuzzy… I'm having difficulties seeing. I think there is a humanoid form in front of me, but everything is blurry! I can just make out a pair of bright, chocolate eyes… Carlos? His gorgeous eyes are blinking behind his glasses and he appears to be trying to focus on my face. Carlos. Carlos! What's going on? Okay… uh huh. Hmmm… neat! Oh okay, not neat. Thank you, Carlos. Alright, according to our chief science officer we need to leave immediately. Don't roll your eyes at me Steve Carlsburg, I'll have you demoted.

The glow cloud is interfering with all of our systems, and has drained our warp core. Dana, you're sure that engineering can't warp us out of here? They said what? No, no we don't have enough time for that. Keep it together Dana, you don't want to end up like the last communications officer. Start seeing if you can get communications with Starfleet back up. Carlos, how can we get out of here before that thing swallows us whole and our entire ship is eaten by the void of darkness and eternity? Hmmm… would that work? I don't know Carlos, would the warp core's reaction with the glow cloud create a strong enough explosion to get us away? You're sure? Alright, go instruct engineering. If we're going to eject the core, we need to do it now.

Wow, Carlos is just so intelligent. And perfect. And his hair. Wow. And I totally need to invest in a thesaurus because really, _neat?_ Neat? Who says that? Oh thanks Dana, Cecil to engineering, come in engineering. Carlos, Carlos, did you eject the core? Alright everyone hold on to something, reaction in three, two, one.

*static*

Captain's Log, Stardate 43126.1. This is Captain Cecil Gershwin Palmer. We are headed to the nearest starbase using our impulse engines, in order to receive a replacement warp core after we had to eject ours yesterday to get out of a tight situation with a mesmerizingly hypnotic energy field and another brush with the inescapable void that will eventually consume us all. The entire crew owes their lives to the quick thinking of our chief science officer Carlos, who got us out of there in the nick of time. He's just so smart. We're all so very lucky that he can serve on the USS _Enterprise_. Oh hi Carlos, is that the science report from yesterday? Right, thank you. You know Carlos, I'm really into science these days… Maybe we could go over these later tonight, over dinner? Or not, you know whatever, maybe next time. Yah, thanks. Neat.

_Damnit._


End file.
